Many wisdom keepers and wisdom sharers advise not basing your sense of self worth on the opinions of others, good or bad. That’s just another manner in which we give our power away. Measuring your self worth by the emotions of others is a sure-fire way to drain your energy, stunt your growth, and make yourself miserable.

It’s virtually impossible to even get more than one and a half people to agree on pizza toppings! You’re never going to make everyone happy. Stop trying. What makes you happy?

Your value is not predicated on anything outside of yourself. Despite what capitalist society tells you, your value is not predicated on what you produce. Measure your self worth against things that you have some control over.

Do you act with honor?

Are you able to stay within your own integrity?

Do you do things that you can be proud of?

Do you put your full attention and focus into the tasks at hand?

Are you kind?

Are you compassionate?

Are you generous?

Do you put your needs on the same level as the needs of others?

Do you stand up for what you believe in?

These are all things that will generate self worth, and they are all things that you have control over.

Get a fresh notebook and start keeping track of all of your successes as they happen. Did you go through with a difficult phone call? Did you get that closet cleaned out? Did you remember to get your errands done? Were you patient with that difficult customer? Did you choose a food that nourishes your body over something that has little nutritional value? Record all of it!

This post is part of a new series called Monday Message, based on that day’s reflection from 365 Days to Enlightenment (authorized versions are currently out of print, working on a new edition). Check back next Monday for another one! You can also sign up for the Daily Message on my mailing list if you’d like to receive a new reflection every day. I also often post them to Instagram, if that’s a medium you enjoy.