With a nod to John Donne, no human is an island, we do not exist alone, life is a team sport. We all must needs support each other.

The OED defines support as “1. Carry part of the weight of, hold up, keep from falling or sinking. 2. Enable to last out, keep from falling, give strength to, encourage. 3. Supply with necessaries, provide for.”

Everyone should have at least a few people they can call at any time of day or night. More than one, certainly, because one phone call is not always enough.

Sometimes the barrier to calling people is not their sleep schedule, though. Sometimes, the barrier to being able to call someone when you need to is in your own head, generated by the negative ego. It is fear; fear of rejection, fear of being a bother, fear that your problems are not important enough, fear that you won’t be listened to. Sometimes it’s a simple fear that they won’t answer the phone, and then what will you do? For example, my dear departed father hated making phone calls the last 10+ years of his life, because it felt personal if the other person didn’t pick up. Especially these days, in the third year of The Pandemic, we have to be willing to move past the squirrel rave of our negative ego in order to have personal connection.

If you don’t know whether you can call someone at 4am, ask them. “I’m assembling a list of people I can call, day or night, to help me through this. Would you be willing to be on that list?” You’d be surprised how many people would consider it an honor to be on your list. They might counter with good times to reach them; make a note of that as well.

And remember, just because someone will take your 4am phone call, it doesn’t mean you can’t call at 3 in the afternoon, too.