Every person with a physical body has a Negative Ego. This is a part of us that is a holdover from the time of little technology and lots of predators above our weight class, so to speak. The Negative Ego told us “don’t leave the cave, and you won’t get eaten.” While it’s a fear-based message, it was pretty useful at the time. But it’s still there, even though humans are now an apex predator. And it thinks that, if it’s not in charge, we’re going to die. That survival-level fear means it is going to do anything in its power to maintain control. If it can hook us through the stories it tells us about what something means, it will.
So, there may not be sabertooth cats anymore, but there’s that person over there, and whatever we think they have done may be just enough to hook us, to spin us out, so we don’t find another way to be, another operating system to run things.
How can we sidestep this process?
* Find the actually verifiable information. Where am I? Am I warm or cold? Is it light or dark? What do I smell? What do I see? What do I hear? What am I physically feeling?
* Get right-sized. What part did I play in setting up the situation that is causing me discomfort? How important is this situation in the grand scheme of things? How invested am I in being right?
* Redirect the attention. What can I focus on that’s not ego-based? How can I get out of myself for a minute? Where can I be of useful service, not in a way that will feed my ego, but in a way that will actually lighten someone else’s burden?
These things will help remove the hook, the attachment, that our ego has used to try to control us. Otherwise we run the risk of abusing ourselves on behalf of others, when they may not even actually know they have a part to play in this scene.
What is the opposing force within us of Negative Ego? Free Will. Not our inner five-year-old that wants ice cream; our Free Will is what is referred to in Kings 19:12 as the “small, still voice”. It is that aspect of our selves that always tells us the truth. It is the opposite of the Negative Ego because the negative ego seeks to thwart our spiritual evolution, and spiritual evolution is the mission of the Free Will.
One of the laws of the Universe is Free Will. You were created with it, and the way that the Universe interacts with you is through that Free Will. Every time you use your Free Will, you send a message to the Universe about what you want, and the Universe complies. If you’re not getting what you think you want, then you may be sending out the wrong signals.
Exercising Free Will requires action, making choices, and allowing yourself to be powerful. If you avoid responsibility, or taking responsibility for your actions, if you blame others, you give your power away. If you avoid making choices in your life and let others do that for you, you give your power away. If you don’t act until forced to or led to, you give your power away. Why would the Universe contradict you in that? You’ve said “I don’t want power,” and the Universe will honor your Free Will, no matter how silly it might seem. If you want to change that, take some initiative in your life and send a different message.
Today, do your best to have your choices and decisions be organic, not influenced by others. Whether it is what you are going to wear today, what foods you are going to eat, which route you take to work, or what you are going to participate in, make your own choices today. Ask yourself, “If no one else were around, what would I choose?” and go with it.
This post is part of a series called Monday Message, based on that day’s reflection from 365 Days to Enlightenment (authorized versions are currently out of print, working on a new edition). Check back next Monday for another one! You can also sign up for the Daily Message on my mailing list if you’d like to receive a new reflection every day. I also often post them to Instagram, if that’s a medium you enjoy.