Americans have an interesting relationship with the first of the calendar year. We frequently see it as a time to reset, to work harder towards goals we already had, or to improve ourselves in some way.  Sadly, a 2002 study showed that, out of the half of the population that ascribes to such practices, 25% of people don’t even make it through the first week, 64% keep going past the first month, and less than half continue going after their goals for more than 6 months.

There are many theories as to why this is. Many people will quit after just one setback, seeing it as failure. Some people simply set unrealistic goals for themselves. Some people think they’re going after one thing (more exercise or just weight loss), when what they really want is something else (self esteem, good body image, etc), so they don’t always get what they are seeking and don’t feel fulfilled by any forward progress that they make.

What if, instead, you simply made it a daily goal to be a better person? How would you start? It would help to define what that means for you. What characteristics do you possess or exhibit that you don’t feel good about? What are the characteristics and actions of someone you admire? What is the differential between the two? This requires sitting down and taking an honest inventory of yourself. It may even require asking loved ones for an honest appraisal of how they see us.

Personal organizers ask their clients to only keep those things that are beautiful, useful, or loved. If you were going to apply this idea to yourself, as opposed to your belongings, you would need to look at your behaviors, thought patterns, and characteristics, as honestly as possible, and weigh then based on those values. What doesn’t fall under one of those three categories? In other words, what can you get rid of?

Make a commitment to stop acting in ways that aren’t beautiful, useful, or loving, and to act more often in ways that are. It helps to check in with yourself every evening and assess what you did well that day and what you could have done better. Keeping a running journal of that check in may even help you start to see patterns that give clues to underlying issues which might need more focused attention. A healer, a spiritual advisor, or a counselor can be helpful in these cases. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you have to go it alone.