The only thing you have control over are your actions and reactions.

Don’t believe me?

You can control the information that you put out, but you cannot control how people respond to it. You can ask that your needs be met, but you can’t control if they actually are.  You can request that people treat you a certain way, but there are no guarantees that they do so, or even that they understand what it is you are asking of them.

Control issues come from ego-driven fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of not having enough, fear of there not being enough available…

• Are you concerned with HOW a thing is done, rather than the outcome?
• Are you preoccupied with what people think about you?
• Do you think you can manipulate or convince others into meeting your needs? Do you think that if they loved you enough, their behavior would change?
• Do you feel the need to make everyone around you happy?

These are all clues that you may have a control issue. The problem is, the more you try to control your environment and the people around you, the less control you actually have, which just increases your fears.

The only think you have control over are your actions and reactions.

Just for today, do things in spite of your fears. Focus on yourself, on your actions and on how you respond to others. Focus on carrying yourself in a way of which you can be proud. Focus on breathing through the fear, on being grounded and in the moment, or at least not listening to the fear or participating in it. Act as if the fear were not there, no matter how much it’s screaming at you.

It’s just for today. Try it.

The only thing you have control over are your actions and reactions.

At some point, this statement can become a comforting truth, that than a fear. Really.